There’s a new book out by Michael Mclean titled “From God’s Arms To My Arms To Yours”. It is a collection of adoption songs that he has written, with pictures and commentary before each song, and it comes with a CD of the songs. Jimmy and I have enjoyed listening to the CD.
A year ago this month we got the news of a lifetime when we found out we had been selected by a birthmother! We met with our caseworker at LDS Family Services one evening, and it was then that we received the sweetest little scrapbook from Zeke’s birthmom, Samantha, announcing we were going to have a baby boy! In the scrapbook, Sam included the lyrics of “From God’s Arms, to My Arms, to Yours”. This song has such a special meaning to Jimmy and me because of that experience. A month later little Ezekiel James was born! Zeke was the most darling newborn we had ever seen, every feature was so perfect and precious! After placement, (which is when adoptive parents receive their baby), it was very surreal holding little Zeke and knowing that we were finally parents! We had waited over 3 years for our little bundle of joy, but believe me, while we were waiting, it felt like decades! Some days it seemed as though us being able to be parents was only a fairy-tale fantasy.
In Michael Mclean’s book, there are some new songs that are really nice, one that I especially like is called, “Something Perfect”. It’s from the perspective of an adoptive parent, and it’s about the day when they receive their baby.
Something Perfect
There’s an ache that’s missing today
There’s an emptiness that’s been filled
There’s a cloud that’s lifted and drifting away
There’s a raging storm that’s been stilled
There’s a joy that’s real
There’s a wound that’s finally healed
There’s a future replacing the past
There’s breath of new life in a cast
And there’s something perfect happening here
And this moment will bury the mountains of fear
And through countless tomorrows it won’t disappear
This something that’s perfect happening here
No one knows, so no one can say
That tomorrow all will be well
Will the brightest promise that shines on today
Shine tomorrow? No one can tell
But one thing is sure
And will be forever more
When such unselfish love has been given
The world just made more room for Heaven
And there’s something perfect happening here
And this moment will bury the mountains of fear
And through countless tomorrows it won’t disappear
This something that’s perfect happening here
I love “Something Perfect” because I think it captures a lot of the feelings we had when we were placed with Zeke. Life now had so much more meaning, and there was a new hope for the future. The constant ache in my heart was gone. It was so painful wanting so much to be a mother, but not knowing when, or if that would ever happen. It was as if in an instant all of my internal longing and emptiness, was taken away when I held my baby boy.
It’s amazing how much unselfish love is involved with adoption. I am so thankful for Sam, and the love she has for Zeke. I would imagine placing Zeke will be the hardest thing Sam will ever do, and we are eternally grateful for her selfless choice.
Zeke is the joy and sunshine of our lives, a great blessing from Heaven!
I love you Esther. I remember I just cried and cried the day I found out that you and Jimmy were going to be able to adopt Zeke. You two are such wonderful parents and I’m so happy for both of you, you deserve all that is good in this world. What a special little boy, and what a wonderful sacrifice that was made. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, we love you.
Esther, I really appreciate you posting your adoption stories and feelings. Although our situations are a little different, I can honestly say I know what it feels like to wait and wait until your little one comes to you. I KNOW that there is another child waiting to come to us, but I also know that it all happens in the Lord’s time. I, too am very grateful for adoption.
I’m so happy for your family, too. You deserve to have a wonderful family, and you have cute little Zeke.
So I’ve been a little emotional lately anyway, without your wonderful post, but now I’m spilling over. I am so happy for you, and I know what you went through must have been difficult. I bet, looking back, well…looking forward is much more fun! Thank you for your touching post. :*)
I’m hoping you’ll remember this, so I’m not just reciting this for nothing, cuz it still makes me cry everytime I think of where I was when I was writing this a year ago. In fact, as I just went through my letters from you, you received word about Zeke exactly a year ago today! So here goes:
I knew someone was waiting
God had chosen them
To give you all the love you need
And make you part of them
He is the creator of our happy smiling faces
You’ll now stand eternally together as one
To Love our perfect little Zeke
Our Precious Little Son
Enjoy these times as they will never come again. Every moment is precious and I can see that never have I made a better choice. He truly was meant for you, not me. You deserve such a bundle of pure joy! I am so grateful to have found you not by just a click on the internet, but as the only true, without a doubt, revelation from Heavenly Father.
Wow Sam, what a beautiful comment! We treasure the poem you wrote last year, and I love how you modified the second paragraph! He will forever be “Our Precious Little Son”, and I’m thankful Zeke will always know he has two mothers who love him with all of their hearts!
Zeke really is a sweet little blessing in your life. I am so happy for you! He truly was made for you and Jimmy!
Zeke is a pure miracle. I think it’s neat you have an open adoption. Samantha seems like an amazing woman, and when ever you write about her, your love for her radiates! What a special bond.
My eyes are spilling over with tears. I’m so incredibly happy for you. I remember when they announced in church that you were being sealed to Zeke, i didn’t know you very well then but I just cried and cried, i was so happy for you. I truly beleive we sat our Heavenly Father’s feet as He taught us what it was to be mothers and that now here on this earth our Spirits truly ache to fulfill that mission. You are such a cute mom. Thanks so much for the post, I think it all makes us appreciate things a little more!
It was so fun to hang out with you guys at the mall yesterday! Thank you so much for coming! WE will have to do it again sometime. I think Jack will be more exploratory next time. :)
Esther, Thanks for sharing that experience. That is one thing I love about blogging is really getting to know the “real” things about people. Reading that was very touching. Although I don’t know you really well, what I do know is that you are a very sweet, sincere person and I am so glad that you are able to be a mother.
Wow, thank you for sharing such special and tender thoughts. What an amazing experience. You two are such great people and Zeke is very lucky to have such a loving stable home.
You are such a cute little family. I agree with everything that everyone else has already posted. Thanks again for sharing your story of getting Zeke.
Esther, I love you and your family.
I was emailing a friend of mine today and telling her about your family. She adopted her little boy just over four years ago and as I watched her slideshow showing the day they were sealed and it reminded me of the wonderful experience of attending the sealing when Zeke was sealed to you and Jimmy. I will always remember that special day. Thank you so much for letting me come and feel the spirit.